MIA

I wish I had a great excuse for not posting in so long, but it has been nothing other than sheer laziness and fatigue. I honestly cannot believe how tired I have been! I feel like I am on "good" cold medicine 24/7 because I am out of it and my head feels foggy. I have been able to not give in to my old caffeine fall-back, mostly because sugar water sounds pretty horrid right about now. I tried to stay up last night, but didn't make it past 11, and actually haven't for about a month. I feel like at about 10 every night I have to lay down and stretch out because my insides feel crowded, or at least that's the best way I can explain it.

On a very exciting note, I think I've been able to feel the baby move a couple times! (Even if it was just gas or something, I'm going to go on believing it was baby.) The first time I was sitting at my computer and it felt like someone moved their finger across my insides - maybe someone was swimming around a bit violently? :) The second time I was laying in bed and it was just a really weird sensation that felt kind of like butterflies, but it was almost warm. Weird. Just the idea that all of these symptoms and feeling are coming from an actual person inside of me is really mind-blowing.

Everyone who has "predicted" what this baby will be has said girl. There have been 2-3 people at work, my doctor, Christine, and the Chinese conception chart (I've been bored the last couple weekends) all are thinking girl. I'm honestly leaning toward boy though, because I've had cravings for salt and not at all sweet, and the majority of people I've talked to have had morning sickness with boys, not girls. We'll see! I've got about a month until we find out, I think. We don't have an ultrasound set up yet, but she said they would do another one at 18 weeks, and that would be in April.

Mom and Dad got their package to tell them the news last Friday and were very, very happy. Mom called and screamed and was thrilled and Dad called me a couple days later to talk and find out how I was doing. Some people at work were asking me if I was nervous to tell my parents, and I didn't know how to answer. Of course not!! I knew the reaction I was going to get and, of course, it was good. I am realizing more and more how blessed I am to be in this great family.

My tummy really popped out this week. Unless I wear a tight shirt you can't tell and really no one would know I was pregnant because it still could look like fat. But I can tell!! It's kind of strange because I've got this prominent pooch, but it is hard when you push on it, instead of flubby. I suppose that makes sense though, since there is a large grapefruit sized waterballon in my abdomen!

Off to eat some more!
I swear if I keep this up I will gain 100 pounds by September, but luckily I've been fluctuating between only 4-6 pounds extra. Whew! Now as long as I lay off the cheeseburgers......

It's real!!!

I had my first ultrasound/appointment today!!!

We got to see the baby and it was absolutely amazing! He was moving around and even waved his little arm. The ultrasound technician was really great and made sure I understood what everything was and took her time with us. We saw a heartbeat which was amazing and the heartrate was 171, which she said was good.

The doctor I saw was also really nice. The place I'm going is a shared practice, so I see all of the doctors and then one of them will deliver the baby, it's just not guaranteed who it will be. I still have to get bloodwork done at a different hospital, but I've got a month to do that (before my next appointment) so I'm not stressing out to bad about that.

The other thing I am not at all stressing out about is work. It's kind of to the point where it could defintiely be to my detriment, so I'm trying to not let it get me in trouble. Ever since I found out, and expecially after I told people at work, I have really not cared about work at all. I've got major preggo brain and I seem to forget everything. I've been pretty good about keeping a note pad aroud and writing down things that I have to do, so that I don't forget anything. I have forgotten to do a couple big things though, but luckily none of them were life or death. When people have been coming to me with problems I am trying so hard to care, but I just can't help but think "it's not that big of a deal!". I am really, really trying to not let my attitute show, but I am afraid that one of these days my hormones are going to get the best of me. The people at work have been really awesome about the whole thing and make sure that I'm ok all the time. They've even sent me home twice, once for morning sickness and today because I've got a bad cold. I'm a touch worried that this sympathy is going to run out though, and I'm not going to be getting as many "breaks". I can just pray that people continue to be compassionate and that my attitude gets better.

Off to bed now! :)

I got back from business trip #2 to Carson City, and this one was even better than the last. This time I didn't go alone, Alan (the Art Director of the Tribune) went along with me too. As much as I like traveling alone, it was really nice to have him along to kind of take care of me. A lot of the days I didn't feel great so having him there to drive, etc. was a blessing. I told the DTI team right off the bat so that they knew. They were all so happy for me and took great care of me, making sure I had enough to eat and anywhere that we went had food. :) One night a couple of us went and saw Juno (About the movie) which is a great movie, especially in my "current state".

The bad part of the trip was that I managed to get a horrible cold. Complete with runny nose and cough, the best part about the whole situation is that I can't take anything except Tylenol. Tylenol did nothing before I got pregnant, and really isn't helping now, so I've given up on that. Luckily, I think the worst is over now and I will be mostly ok for work tomorrow.

My first doctor's appointment and u/s are tomorrow, I am so excited! There is a little part of me that is petrified that maybe something is wrong and I'm going to miscarry, but I'm still pretty nauseous and haven't had bad cramping or bleeding, so there is really nothing to backup that feeling.

Final thing for tonight - Nate is the sweetest husband ever. Since we found out he has let me have the big couch with no argument and he curls up in a ball on the love seat. Most of the time I give in and let him have the couch anyway, but he always made me move before. And on Sunday I was absolutely miserable but we had to go to an open house at Grandpa John's house. Very little of the food looked appetizing and the rest I pretty much couldn't eat so I left pretty hungry. I told him that I wanted grapes and a cheeseburger for dinner and he drove me to Safeway and McDonald's on our way home, just to get me my food. He's really the best and I am so lucky to have a guy who cares about me so much.

Awake Sickness

I am quickly learning that Morning Sickness is a cruel joke. "Morning" would make you think that you only have to worry about it in the morning. No, no, no. It is just sickness, anytime sickness. Whenever you are awake sickness. Mine has been the worst in the morning and also at night. There is a window between 1-3 where I usually feel great. It also seems like it is getting worse every day, which is good. It is disgustingly ironic to me that they sicker you get the more healthy your baby is. And I am definitely embracing it because of my miscarriage. I will definitely take any good signs.

I had to reschedule my appointment because of a work conflict. My new appointment is now Feb. 12th. I am going back out to Carson City/Reno the first week of Feb. to help more with their computers. I still haven't told anyone at work (or anyone for that matter!). Mike and I will be discussing what my new position will be in the near future so I'm going to tell him, but I think I'll keep it under wraps until the 2nd Trimester to tell everyone else. We're also going to wait until my appointment to tell our families. I'm getting really excited to spread the news! :)

Update

My first doctor's appointment is February 4th.

Trip to Carson City

Today I got back from my business trip to Carson City, NV to help with the DTI install at a newspaper there. It really was a lot of fun, the DTI core team is made up of a lot of great people. I feel like we got a lot accomplished and really had a pretty good time too.

So after craving Roast Beef like crazy last weekend, buying a bunch at Safeway and then eating a huge sandwich, I realized that I'm not supposed to have deli meat. It has really been a challenge for me to not eat/drink anything bad. None of it has been on purpose but it seems like everything that is "off-limits" I'm managed to eat before I found out I was prego. I've had sushi, fish, feta cheese, alcohol (not a lot, just a little over the holidays), calamari, shrimp, roast beef, caffiene and I'm sure there's more. I feel like such a bad mom, but I didn't realize what I was doing! I just hope that my baby turns out totally healthy and none of my mistakes will end up hampering my child's future. I have been able to clear my mind a little bit by doing research about each thing that I ate and none of them - aside from the alcohol - are really bad in moderation, they just need to be avoided from now on.

Off to go find something "baby kosher" :)

Nate

After a pretty unenthusiastic first response to the positive test ("Yeah, I already knew that you were") Nate has really been expressing his exitment about having a baby. He was already anticipating something big was going to happen because of the changes in his life. He has been drifting away from his friends a little, and some have even moved away. A couple of weeks ago he said "I don't know what God is doing, but he must be preparing me for something to change". And what do you know - here I am 5 weeks pregnant!

I am very much looking forward to watching Nate grow as a Dad. (Nate as a dad - that is going to take some getting used to!) We went to visit his friends last weekend and just watching him interact with their 3 year old daughter made me want to cry. (Ok, the over-abundance of hormones didn't help that any.) When we were watching a movie she wanted to sit in between the two of us and she fit pretty nicely. Then, of course, he started tickling her, but she loved it and the two of them got along so well. As we were driving home he told me that he could get used to having a little person sitting between us. He had also been very excited to just play with his kids. It has amazed me as to how much he picks up on other people's parenting styles. While he defintiley believes in a spanking every now and then, he has made it very clear that you shouldn't treat your kids like grown ups - let them be kids. This is definitley going to be a great ride.


I called the clinic this morning and they are going to call me back in the next 24 hours to do a prenatal interview. They told me that after that they'll make me an appointment and schedule my first ultrasound. MY first ultrasound! I don't think it really sunk in until I heard that. It really feels like this is MY pregnancy. What a crazy feeling.